For most of us, creating our best life isn’t necessarily easy. Some people seem to be able to effortlessly create whatever they dream up. This is, however, the exception rather than the rule. For the rest of us, manifesting the life we want takes some time and some patience.
Effort vs. ease
My yoga instructor likes to talk about finding balance between effort and ease. He’ll direct us into these challenging positions and then say, "I know you are putting in the effort right now, but see if you can find some ease as well.” Sometimes I totally get what he’s talking about and I can (surprisingly) find some ease in the challenge. Other times I really just want to scream in frustration. I guess it depends on my mood at the moment. Or maybe how much my shoulders hurt.
It’s a balance I find hard to establish in many areas of my life. I’m not always sure when I need to keep pushing to create the life I want and when I need to let go and be patient. In general, I think Western culture is very much a go-go-go kind of mindset. No pain no gain. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps. Hard work creates success.
On the other hand, most of the world of energy work and manifestation leans more into the ease side of things. Get clear on your purpose and you will simply draw everything you need into your life. Align yourself with what the universe wants for you and watch everything flow your way. Integrated Energy Therapy (IET) teaches that Angel Sara is the angel of ease. By clearing the energy holding you back from finding your purpose, she helps you effortlessly create your best life.
These are two very different ways of looking at how to create your best life. Which viewpoint is right?
The answer is: both.
They are essentially two sides of the same coin. You can’t create anything in your life without some effort. Effort, however, is not enough if you are spending time on things that aren’t meant for you. However, if you are aligned with your life’s purpose, then your work will be supported by the universe and what you need will line up for you.
Essentially, you can’t expect to have it all done for you, but you can’t actually do it all yourself either.
Manifesting your best life isn’t a one-step process
You may say, “I know this is what I am supposed to be doing with my life, but I still haven’t manifested the life of my dreams. Clearly, it’s not that simple.”
To which I say, “You aren’t entirely wrong, but you aren’t entirely right either.”
No, you probably haven’t manifested the life of your dreams yet. (I know I haven’t.) Something as big as your whole, best life takes some time to put together. Look around, though, and ask yourself what parts of your best life have you already manifested? The relationships? The job? The flexibility? The location?
Just because the entirety of what you want to manifest isn’t here yet, doesn’t mean you aren’t making pieces of it pop up all over. Look around and see what’s already in your life. What pieces do you have right now that you are grateful for at this moment? Take some time to reflect and write a few things down.
The life you want to create doesn’t necessarily come to you as a package. You need to put bits of it together to create the whole mosaic. Some of those bits require work. You’ll have to find that new job, build that business, work on that relationship, go to that therapist, or make those hard choices. There is plenty that has to be done that can only be done by your own effort.
On the other hand, some of the pieces of your best life that you are trying to create showed up without you making it happen. That opportunity popped up out of nowhere. That thing you didn’t know to ask for showed up for you. That massive, unexpected blessing came out of nowhere and solved all kinds of problems for you. You may not have done anything specific to create those circumstances, but the universe sent them to you so you could take one step closer to creating the life you want.
Think of the pieces of your best life you wrote down a few moments ago. How many of those did you sit and wait for? How many did you have to work for? I’m guessing it’s a mix. Some of what you have created took a boatload of work. Some of it showed up on its own.
When you look ahead to what you want to continue to create in the future, it’s also going to be a mix. You are going to do some hard work AND you are going to wait for the Universe to line up what you need. Every dream requires effort and ease to make it a reality.
Think about the best life you want to create. What elements are still missing? What pieces do you want to add to what you already have? Write down some of those elements now.
When you look at that list, know that there will be both effort and ease to make your dream a reality. It isn’t going to spring up out of nowhere. You also won’t have to do everything yourself.
When to push and when to relax
How do you know when to put in the effort of making something happen and when to relax and wait for it to come to you?
I wish I had an easy answer for that. It certainly is not always obvious. There’s a certain amount of intuition involved in deciding where to put your attention. There may be some trial and error you have to go through to figure it out. You will also, hopefully, find some synchronicity guiding your steps.
My best suggestion is to look at your list of what you still want to create in your life. Use your gut to come up with some action steps for how to make those dreams a reality. Then start to carry through on your action steps.
You’ll get feedback pretty quickly regarding what requires your time right now and what does not. Some things will blossom quickly with your effort which tells you to keep working in that direction. Some things may not respond to your work, which is often an indication that you need to step back a bit and wait for the right time before you keep pushing.
There are also times when it’s not a matter of figuring out what to do, but a matter of getting out of your own way so that what you want to create can actually happen. I think what we most often do is hinder our dreams from manifesting. Here are some ways that happens:
Not believing in our dreams, or our own worthiness to live those dreams.
Not doing the work to let go of limiting beliefs, old traumas, bad habits, etc.
Not getting clear on what we really want (“I want to be rich!” doesn’t actually cut it).
Making excuses for why we can’t start creating our best life right now.
Feeling overwhelmed and not knowing where to start. (I’m definitely prone to this one.)
Not having someone to talk to about what we are trying to manifest (usually because it feels too crazy).
Waiting for God, or the universe, or family, or whatever to make the first move.
Allowing your fears to keep you stuck.
These are all things that can easily stop you from creating your best life. You can’t change if you don’t believe it is possible. You can’t create something better if you have no vision of what that better looks like.
If any of these things strike a chord for you, then you need to do the work to get out of your own way. Check out resources on this blog to help know where to start. Or, schedule a session with me and I’ll guide you to the resources you need to start dealing with these blocks keeping you from moving forward.
How to move forward
If you have done the work to get out of your own way, here are some other suggestions for how to begin creating your best life:
Start creating healthy habits of positive mantras, meditation, exercise, nourishing eating, or mindfulness that build your capacity to change and improve your life one step at a time.
Find a support network of friends, family, energy workers, etc. who will cheer you on toward your goals.
Get clear on your purpose. (IET is 100% about finding your life purpose.)
Make a vision board, write down what you are trying to create, and visualize what you want.
Start to do your own mental/emotional/physical/spiritual healing. You can’t create your best life if your past and present problems are in the way.
Be grateful for the pieces of your best life you already have. Gratitude is always the best place to start.
Creating your best life is a big process. It requires you to push, to relax, to change, to grow, to wait, and to expand. Sometimes these things happen one at a time. Sometimes they happen all at once! It’s a poorly defined process that requires intuition and a host of tools to navigate. It may be challenging, but it can be done.
Energy work and coaching are both ways you can get help strengthening your intuition and clarifying your purpose. You’ll then know where to put your effort to create the life you want. There will be some ease as you are supported by family, friends, and the universe. Things will happen to carry you along further than you could do it on your own.
With each new piece of your best life that you create, take time to be grateful for what you have and then set your sights on the next piece you want to create. It may take time, but you will get there.
Would you like some help with this process? Check out my website to see all the different ways I can support you. You can also peruse this blog for more free resources and ideas for how to start your work. As always, email me at any time with questions or comments! firstname.lastname@example.org